Let's take some time this post to share things that parents do with babies that often times makes parenting a toddler much more stressful than it needs to be. Let me be clear that I know every baby is different and God's unique creation, so there are some exceptions to the words that follow, but have an open mind.
1)You can put the baby down! So often we as new parents are so enamoured with the fact we actually have a being from ourselves that maybe has our eyes, cheeks, etc., that we don't want to put them down. However, if you don't put the baby down, you shouldn't be complaining when it's 2:30 a.m. and the only way you and the baby can sleep is if you hold him/her. As I've said before, babies are beings of habit. Don't contribute to that. They will survive without you holding them. An example of an exception here would be something my brother and his wife experienced with their first born. He had torticollis, which meant his muscles caused his head to turn to the side. Therapy helped with this, but imagine constantly living with a crick in your neck.
2)Swaddle - My sister-in-law pointed this out to me that I missed in my previous post. I've heard people say, "Wrapping the baby up can't be comfortable." So you're saying you know better than millions and millions of people who have swaddled their babies? Swaddled babies sleep better than unswaddled, which means you sleep better. Likewise, don't just swaddle at night, but swaddle during the day as well. You might suddenly notice your baby sleeping better during the day! If you've never swaddled, ask someone how, and give it a chance.
3)Crying - Crying is a natural soothing gift from God, but we often times use it as a crutch. I know I've harped on this before, but while allowing crying to happen at the beginning can be difficult and heart-breaking for some people it can be life-changing as the baby ages. The longer we enable our children and don't allow them to learn how to soothe themselves, the more difficult it is for them to acquire that soothing ability. Obviously, parents need to use good judgment with this as "crying it out" at two days old is different than at two months old, but if you're still having difficulty, two months is a safe time to allow some crying when putting them down to sleep. Now, that doesn't mean let them cry for an hour, but give it more than two minutes please.
4)Quit worrying about the baby's weight and fine motor development. I understand we want our babies to be perfect, and we want to them be healthy on the growth chart and we want them rolling over and smiling at two months, eating solids at four months, crawling at six months, walking before one, and speaking three languages by two, but that's not reality. Be patient. Our kids have all been small. We were told with both our girls to feed them all the fat we can (unfortunately, I heard, "Feed Dad all the fat we can) because they were so low on the chart, but give me a break. I have yet to see any ribs poking out, and they all had baby rolls. Even our youngest, Audrey, who's "0" on that dumb growth chart, looks obese compared to babies in other parts of the world. Plus, all the comparing with other babies as to how fast yours are developing is ridiculous. By kindergarten, those four months your son was behind in walking compared to your friends' children is irrelevant. He's probably faster than them now.
There are many more unnecessary issues we worry about with babies, which I'm sure I will share in the future, but we as parents need to learn to "relax." If you're stressed with all the issues your dealing with in having a new baby, that's normal, but don't be afraid to find ways to better manage the stress. Remember, you can ask people for advice and help. Just because the child is your baby doesn't mean you know everything! And, when all else fails, pray for patience and guidance.
Financial Tip of the Day:
Get out of debt! The first debt to overcome is credit card debt. Find something in your life you can cut out (might mean cable!) and put the money saved to paying off your debt.
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