Ode to Moms

I have spent most of my time in this blog looking at things from the man's perspective. However, as our fourth has been here now for 6 weeks and the “door” is soon to be closed, I want to focus on women, and more importantly my wife, Faith.




   A little over 7.5years ago, when Faith was ready to move ahead with children, like I didn't create enough excitement for her in our marriage, I succumbed to her desires, and soon pregnancy arrived and Isaiah was born. As I have shared, and as many of you have witnessed, through the four pregnancies, Faith was sick for almost all nine months. That means that over the past almost 8 years, Faith has been sick/pregnant or has been nursing for most of the duration of that time. That does not sound fun to me. I realize that nursing creates some “emotional” attachment that bottle feeding doesn’t always give, but when I bottle fed Isaiah, and now Timothy every once in a while, the clock does not move fast enough (the two girls refused the bottle until around their first birthdays). Likewise, and I know families are different, especially if there’s no breast feeding (that phrase will always sound awkward to me) taking place, but while I have many times over the 7 years gotten up in the middle of the night to take a crying baby, Faith has lost sleep much more often, especially since I am unable to produce milk.
Yes, I, along with all fathers, give up a lot and learn what it means to give up my selfish desires at times, but Faith has given up much more, as have many other mothers.
Since Faith has stayed home with all the children, she has given up a career in the teaching world and has done myriad part time jobs to supplement my bottom-dwelling teaching salary in North Carolina. As most women experience, with that first child there was major adjustment with being home, including loneliness and a sense of loss of purpose, but she has pressed on and invested in many people’s lives and has not been afraid to get outside of that dreaded “comfort zone” in which too many people live. And I don’t write the next comments to say Faith is better than any other mom, but I do challenge moms reading this and people who know moms, maybe your own children, who struggle with parenting adjustment to learn from Faith.
Instead of dwelling on the loneliness and lack of purpose, Faith has always reached out to others through mom’s Bible studies, “play dates” (that term wasn’t around when I was a kid), helping other struggling moms, and through “letting go” of control. I watch as so many moms confine themselves to their homes, becoming homebodies, as they won’t get baby sitters, as they won’t put their children in the church nursery, as they won’t take advice from others, and as they vicariously live their lives surfing through their Facebook friends updates, and I can’t help but be grateful for how Faith has not confined herself to that “comfort zone,” even though it’s a much easier place to stay. Even now as we have embraced having a fourth child, Faith jumped right in to a new challenge in helping lead the young adult group at church and encouraging me to again lead a Bible study with her starting last fall, while we were living in my in-laws basement after our move from North Carolina to the farmlands of Ohio!




I close this post with this: Mom’s, you rock because you give up so much for so little “worldly gain” in return (although having and raising a child is better than any worldly profit). However, all parents need to be careful to not let their children be an excuse for not being involved with life outside of child world. Let’s stop using our children as excuses why we can’t volunteer places, why we can’t serve at church, why we can’t help others, and why we can’t be involved in the relationships that challenge us to grow!

Man Advice:


Be the leader and encourage your wife. Help around the house and do ANYTHING that can help her. Don't use your children as an excuse to not be involved in others' lives!

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