We all have different birth experiences, most good, but I've heard some horror stories. That's an encouraging start to a post. Anyway, with the last birth just a month ago, once we survived the treacherous walk to the hospital, as I explained in the previous post, we headed to the birthing ward. Because Faith was all of two people there in labor that night (not a lot of new blood where this hospital is located), we were directed to our labor room. Faith put on that beautiful hospital gown, a modern day marvel that we should all be forced to where at some point in our lives, she sat in her high-tech birthing bed, and I found a seat in a chair. This was no ordinary chair. It reclined, but not even enough to be considered a reclined position, and it had wheels...wheels on a reclined chair equals a danger zone. I got on online and started researching reclining chairs and fold out couches and told the nurse that I would buy the hospital one that I found for $350. Are you kidding me? How is the man ever supposed to get some sleep in such conditions?
So like most people waiting in the labor room, we put our things down and began the wait for the baby. We'll fast forward a few hours as Faith started to really feel the pain. This was baby #3 without any pain medicine or epidural, and she was feeling it. Now, there's pros and cons to having or not having medicine for the pain, but no training, no class, and no book can prepare a couple to actually experience the wonderful, excruciatingly painful event of childbirth. While Faith had an epidural for her first birth as I watched cable TV and enjoyed visitors and snacks, such was not the case with the last three, and throughout all the moaning, walking, grimacing, etc. nothing I did was right until I was "gently" directed to rub her back, don't rub her back, give her water, don't give her water, put a wash cloth on her head, don't put a wash cloth on her head...you get the point. So, after some pushing we convinced the nurses to prepare for the baby to come out (they were not in a hurry). The baby was coming and there was nothing Faith could do to stop it. Nurses are always so encouraging when they say, "Try no to push too hard yet. The doctor isn't her yet." Seriously, get that baby out. Anyway, I think the on-call doctor was having a latte and reading a magazine because he was nowhere in sight. So, the two nurses are prepping and the phone in the room won't work to call anyone. Faith is on the bed, holding on the rails with all her might "stopping the baby from coming out," and I'm there, gently rubbing her back, encouraging her to "control her breathing." Suddenly, as Faith is on her side, out pops the baby's head. Hello, there's a baby over here! The nurses run over, grab the baby's head, turn Faith on her back, and the baby comes out...in walks the on-call doctor 5 minutes later with his arms folded, surveying the situation. When he seemed to be satisfied, he turned away and walked out, saying nothing to any of us. Needless-to-say, this was a very different experience from the other three births, but Timothy was out, and I guess the new fad in birth is to keep the baby attached to the umbilical chord and do some koala/kangaroo skin thing, so Timothy, and all his gooey covering, was placed on Faith. Disgusting!
That's it for the birth. At this point, after four births, I'm pretty sure I could deliver a baby and almost did.
Man Advice:
Classes are over-rated, but go if your wife insists. Just realize that to the hospital staff you are the least important thing in that birth room.
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