Will You Trust a Babysitter?

We passed the 20 week mark, and now reality is starting to hit. Actually, that's not really true for us since this is baby #4, but some of my best advice for first-time parents is when you are at this point of pregnancy, start talking about what life will look like after the baby is born, because here's the reality: if you do not as a couple start figuring some of the future realities out good luck! Here are some things to start pondering, to start praying about, and to start crying about (remember, first-time parents are kissing freedom good-bye): (I will try to remain neutral and non judgmental with my points, but that's not my gift.)

Does this really happen?

1)Will you put the baby in bed with you? Ummm...I think secretly parents use this as an excuse for a natural birth control. The "tough, strong" answer is "no," but when doing that allows for everyone to get more sleep, your thoughts might change. However, are you going to let an infant control you or are you going to be the person in charge? How you parent now is a good indication of how you parent in the future:)

Make that book a tablet and watch Netflix, Amazon, etc.

2)Who's getting up with the baby at night? Every couple approaches this differently. I'm keeping my thoughts to myself on this one.
                                                           
                                                     Three words - CLOSE THE DOOR!
3)Are you going to let the baby cry or always hold him/her? Will you let the baby cry at night, or feed him/her and if so until how old? Figure this one out now because I know too many people who haven't, and they have lost years of their lives due to lack of sleep. Some people say you can't spoil a baby enough, which is true to an extent, but that's probably not a great philosophy to hold to in life. Let me know how that turns out when they're teenagers. Really, this is about doing research, knowing your child, listening to other's advice (trust me, so many of your friends know how to help you, but you're too prideful to listen to their advice), and most importantly learn how to turn down the monitor and close the door! Babies cry; they know the messed up world they're born into, so let them purge their emotions. If you don't, they won't ever get over it and you won't ever get sleep!
                                                                                                  Are you using your baby as an excuse to take a break from God?
4)Are you going to put the child in the nursery at church, work, etc.? One take is to prevent that as long as possible to prevent germs and sickness. However, that's probably just an excuse for people not trusting others. Most professionals say give it 6-8 weeks...very understandable. However, some people view that as 8-10 months. Most people serving/working in those environments have held a lot more babies than you, so really, you're the one who should be questioned. (I say that with love.)

                                                           
5)Are you going to allow people to babysit? This is a sticky one. Some people won't even let family members babysit, some have no qualms about getting baby sitters, some only let family babysit, and others interview people before allowing them to babysit. Again, all couples have their own ideas with this one, but I think a lot of it relates to #4 as well. Are you not letting others watch your child because you really want to protect him/her, or is it more about you and your insecurities, and often times your lack of faith, and finally your selfishness?
         You may not agree with what I write here, but at least give it some thought. When that child popped out and you became a parent, what all of the sudden made you a parent connoisseur? I'll answer that for you-God. However, who made you a better, more knowledgeable parent than everyone else-no one! I contend that it is more a lack of faith and trust on our parts than anything else. Yes, we should be vigilant with how much to trust others, but we also should remember, especially if you believe in a higher power, that we are not called to worry and to be anxious but quite the opposite. Put some trust in God, put some trust in others, and put some trust in yourself that you can trust others.
        Wow, this is getting a little deep so here's one final thought: If you're a helicopter parent now, you will probably be a helicopter parent through time and drive every teacher nuts! (Helicopter parent-parent who enables and who constantly is in the child's "back pocket")

Man Advice:
Don't let your marriage suffer because you can no longer spend alone time with your wife. Find some trustworthy baby-sitters, and take your wife out on a date, at least once a month. Don't say you can't afford it. You can sacrifice a golf game for your wife, pack a lunch for work and save money, or take turns watching friends' children so no one pays for a baby-sitter!