1)Should the woman breast feed or not? For my personal safety, I will leave this one alone...for the most part. However, I will say that while I do more support the breast-feeding approach, be prepared to deal with the trials of breast-feeding. It doesn't come easy for everyone; it doesn't physically happen for some--no milk production; it can be painful (if the woman has a low pain tolerance=not good); it can make for some awkward public moments and is not exactly car friendly (if the baby is in the car seat, how's the breast feeding going to work...awkward!).
2)If breast-feeding the baby, the parents better prepare for how to feed in public. Some women will be completely embarrassed and isolate themselves from the world every time they feed...like they are diseased or something. Other women have no trouble allowing for all the world to see those milk-enhanced body parts...again making for some awkward moments for those around them. I'm not here to judge which is better (probably a happy medium between the two, including a blanket or "hooter-hider" is best), but make sure you're both on the same page.
3)How much time is the husband going to take off work? While every situation is different, and while financial issues, job flexibility, and birthing complexities can affect time taken from work, make sure this issue is discussed. Many workaholics will take very little to no time off. I'm voting against that because you're just saying your job is more important than your wife and child, even though you won't admit it. On the other hand, some people use all their "vacation" time. While this sounds great, that might not be wise either, because during that first year I guarantee you will be needed at home or want a "break" but you can't get it because you used all that time. Probably most people take a week. That's enough time to help establish some new routines with the baby and to be their together, husband and wife, but it's a short enough time to allow the husband to still feel connected to work. Whatever you decide, be flexible and appreciate the time together.
4)How involved will your parents and in-laws be the first week? Again, while each situation is different, definitely plan for this if you are fortunate to have your parents/in-laws around for help. For us, we enjoyed having the first week to ourselves. Since we lived away from our parents, Faith's parents drove the 9 hours from Ohio, and mine flew from Colorado to North Carolina for the first couple of days. However, they then left, with my mom and Faith's mom each coming back later for a week at a time while I was back at work. We were able to establish our own routines and protocols (sounds official) without parent interference and judgment. Of course that would never happen! Well, that's how I viewed it. For more insecure women, I would definitely go that route because such women will be questioning/doubting everything anyway and any wrong comment by a "well-intentioned" grandparent (usually grandmother) could severely damage an already fragile psyche. Likewise, since the husband usually will be home that first week, that can make for a crowded house, especially with the stress of having a newborn child. Trust me on this one. Our second child Alexis came one week past the due date, two weeks after my wife's false labor. Yes, my in-laws were in our house for two weeks before the birth...a time I will forever cherish:) I wonder why I came home late every day for those two weeks, but I digress.
The reality is that you need to suck it up, get mature, and realize a baby is coming. Sure you can go pick out all that new cute little bedding (complete waste of money), spend hours decorating the baby room that no baby will notice and that will change before the baby can even appreciate it (basically an opportunity for parents to show off) and buy all those "first time" baby albums that few people use. However, have some real conversations that help prepare all parties involved for the arrival of that first baby!
Man Advice:
Think of some projects that need to be done around the house because when that baby is home that first week, you won't go out much. Neither parent will probably get much sleep at night, and while you think, "We'll just nap when the baby naps," good luck, that doesn't work.
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