For those of you reading this blog for the first time, please enjoy. I wrote this blog a while ago and put it on the back burner. For the many who read before, "I'm back!" The hiatus has given me new insight on pregnancy. In fact, hopefully this is just the beginning of something more broad in scope and something bigger. Please enjoy this first entry. There are two surprises in this entry: First, as I have embarked on writing a book (even if I'm the only one whoever reads it), I am including part of the preface here...Second, read closely and you will find another little surprise. Enjoy!

Two ideals exist for this book. First, my ultimate goal is for men to read this book and to know they are not alone when it comes to dealing with, I mean, accepting the reality of pregnancy. While some literature on the subject exists, most of it is from a woman’s perspective. What? How can a woman tell me how I feel and think about pregnancy? I’m sure women would love it if a man wrote a book about how women feel during pregnancy. Insert a little sarcasm there. And, most literature is hundreds and hundreds of pages long. Why do I need a 500 page book to explain to me what to expect when expecting when “expecting” is a natural thing that billions of people have experienced. Most men don’t read that stuff!

On the other hand, women, if you are reading this, either your significant other is trying to help you see perspective, so please be understanding, or you may be reading this because you have some desire, while it may be deeply embedded in the inner-recesses of your soul, to know what he is/will be experiencing during the pregnancy time period. Whatever the case, please have an open mind. Realize many of the written words are for comedic relief, and while you may disagree with or be offended by my thoughts, they are just that--my thoughts. I would argue most men experience similar feelings as will be shared in the book, but we all have different personalities, experiences, and beliefs that ultimately shape how we experience the whole pregnancy phenomenon.

Finally, please enjoy reading this, short, comical view of pregnancy from a man’s perspective. I am often blunt and sarcastic, so don’t read too deeply into everything I write.  As we begin this journey together, I realize not all men are in the same circumstance as the typical “expecting” male, but for simplicity sake, this book will be told from my perspective, a married male.

Oh yeah, one more thing: Through my wife’s first three pregnancies, I continuously claimed there was a need to write a book, but I never did. Over the past few months, I left a great education job, moved from our family’s home base for the past eight years, left our best friends, neighbors, and church behind, and moved into my in-laws basement while accepting a part-time job as my wife took a part-time job herself. Our world has been rocked, not by force, but by choice. As a man of faith, I believed this is where God wants us. However, as if that weren’t enough challenge, the reality is I can’t most effectively write this book from past experiences and through other’s pregnancy adventures. I must write this from live experience, so here we go. With child number four on the way, the live recording begins. (None of this may be reproduced without consent of the writer or you may be subject to prosecution.)

Well, there's a short preview of the book, and as the next few months pass by, I will be updating this blog with my current thoughts that, I, along with my three children, will be experiencing as mom one more time perseveres through the pregnancy adventure!

Man Advice:
Whenever you see a pregnant woman and ask "How are you feeling?" turn to the man and say, "And how are you doing?" Make him feel appreciated!

Be a Leader! Super Bowl Bound?

The last few days I had some ideas write for me next post, but watching some of the pre-game Super Bowl festivities makes me reflect on the importance of training our leaders to lead! By the way I'm writing this as I watch the halftime show of the Super Bowl...I guess there's a requirement to not wear clothes if you're the headlining act. Unbelievable! Well, I'm a track coach, and recently our coaching staff met with administration to discuss expectations we have that a parent strongly disagrees. We have some differing views on training, parenting, etc. During the meeting, he made the comment, "You all expect too much of my daughter. She's only fifteen, way too young to be a leader." What? She's too young to be a leader! I didn't even know how to process that statement. Is he saying he doesn't believe in his daughter? Is he saying he hasn't trained her right to be leader? Is he saying he can't let her go and therefore must protect her from anything, other than her father, that could influence her? I'm still left dumbfounded by the comment and have lost much sleep over it. The following day I even presented the quote to my class to write about it (don't worry, I didn't tell them where I heard it), and their comments were enlightening, mostly portraying the same thoughts I've had. I told them discussing the quote was challenging them to "think deeply," but really I think I was just looking for support:)

 I give the example to make a point. Ladies and Gentlemen, we must train and inspire our children to aspire for greatness, which only comes through training them to be leaders. I've been talking to my son, since he could process what being a leader meant, about being a leader. Of course I've heard all the excuses: "But they're older than me..." or "It's too hard..." or "But nobody else is doing it..." Hey, I get his points. We've all been there, and from someone who played on sports teams through college, I get them. Being a leader isn't always easy. Okay, let's be honest, sometimes it places you on an island, leaving you feeling all alone. Yet, going back to my previous example for my track athlete, what am I supposed to say on the first day of track practice? "Team, I want each of you to make a decision right now to be the best follower you can be! Don't try to lead, and don't try to set the example! You're too young, and I don't want you overworking yourselves. I want each of you to find the best follower on the team and follow him/her. I want each one of you to aspire to greatness. I want you to follow!" That might be a little sarcastic, but the reality is that the parent was simply saying something that too many people believe today, especially in regards to our young boys. We are so worried about protecting our children and enabling them that either they don't know how to lead, or, as is the case with my athlete, we won't let them lead. As a result, today's youth don't have other youths to look up to. I see it in my classroom every day, and I see it on our sports teams. In fact, that's why athletes like Tim Tebow, Peyton Manning, Ray Lewis, Kobe Bryant, etc. are so admired by the media as they set examples that so many others don't.

 At the same time, so many of those athletes are negatively judged and condemned because they do stand out as leaders as we have a hard time embracing leaders because we don't see them anymore. Think about what you can do to prepare your children to be leaders, because if you don't they will easily fall prey to the many pressures society places upon them. Set the example and lead!

 1)What are some things you've done to train your children to lead? 2)Any inspiring or uninspiring stories of leadership?

Pregnancy, Fatherhood, and the Man Book!

I know I've definitely been weak the past few months in doing anything with this blog. Honestly, most of that is due to me wondering what I want to do with writing. And, more importantly, what I want to do with my life (or, for the more spiritual, what God wants to do with my life). I've been an English teacher for ten years, two years at the middle school level (never going there again...), and eight years at the high school level, teaching English, writing, and speech classes (and behavior, etiquette, respect, higher-level/life changing thinking--you get the point). Without going into all the inner workings of my thought life, let's just say that, like many people, I'm interested in possibly pursuing something else. That may or may not include the education world, and may just simply be a hobby. Who knows? But I tell my students all the time to not be complacent and to not live status-quo lives, or at least maybe I've said that once at track practice, so I better live by what I preach.

 I've always been interested in writing, not the antiquated essay writing I teach to my students, but real writing that could actually be of benefit to the reader. Having said that, while I have multiple topics and ideas I'd like to address, one that currently remains most dear to my heart is that of the man's role in pregnancy and fatherhood. I don't want to write about something that has already been written about, and anything I've found about men and pregnancy/fatherhood is limited to idealistic or extra serious views of the topic, not that those aren't needed because have you looked at the world around us, we all need help. Or, the books are written by women. No offense, but seriously, would a women want me writing about what it's like to breast-feed or what it's like to actually give birth...no! I'd have my head cut off. Now, I need your help. My thought is to make this short and entertaining, small enough to put in the bathroom or on the coffee table. I've been brainstorming, researching, and talking to others about what steps to take next. You can help me by responding to any of the following questions:

  1)Would your husband read a 50-75 pg. book about the realities of pregnancy, the birth process, and the first year? 2)Females, if you've already had children, do you think it would have been beneficial to get perspective on what your husband was thinking as you went through the process? 3)Do you think your husband would see that as good reading material? 4)Men, would you have found it beneficial to read a man-friendly book about pregnancy and fatherhood that wasn't hundreds of pages long like What to Expect When You're Expecting and all those heavy reading books (literally and figuratively)? You can either comment on the blog (I changed the settings so you shouldn't need an account) or you can email me at www.mattfaithperkins@gmail.com. Please be free and honest with your thoughts.